1. Golf quote:
“Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks” (By Anon)
2. Golf joke - Below Par?
After a particularly bad round of golf, Robert decided not to go to the nineteenth hole [the clubhouse bar] and started to go straight home.
As he was walking to the golf car park to get his M-Class, a policeman stopped him and asked', Did you tee off on the seventeenth hole about twenty minutes ago?'
'Yes', Robert answered
'Did you happen to slice your ball so that it went over the trees and out of bounds and completely off the golf course?'
'Yes, I did. How did you know?' Robert questioned.
'Well', said the policeman gravely', Your golf ball flew out onto the main road and crashed through the windscreen of a BMW. The car driver lost control and crashed into six other cars and a fire engine. The fire engine was unable to reach the fire in time and the building burned down. Now, what do you intend to do about it?'
Robert thought it over very carefully and responded', I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.'